Our hustle culture series would not be complete without discussing toxic positivity!
It was a very common theme during the rise of hustle culture, and I believe still very prevelant even today. I am an optimistic, glass-half-full person and because of that, I think I struggled to see toxic positivity for what it was.
I always wanted to think that people posting positive things had their readers’ best interest at heart. Still, I would like to think that’s true today. However, I realize that there some people that unfortunately are promoting icky things, but serving them up as a positive things.
There are some different factors we can take into account when trying to discern between honest, real positivity and toxic positivity. Let’s dive into those factors, friends!
Feel Your Feelings
“Search your feelings, you know it to be true.” – Star Wars reference for the win!
Probably the most dangerous piece of advice that toxic positivity promotes is to ignore your emotions. There’s a belief that those emotions are something that hold you back, therefore, they should be pushed aside so they don’t get in the way. As you might imagine while you’re reading this, that’s not very sound advice!
While it may seem okay to disregard your feelings temporarily, it can cause some real emotional damage over time. It’s important to note that no two people will grieve the same, will experience a situation in the exact same way, etc. Some people are quick to point out that you’re wasting time worrying about something, or that you need to move on.
However, we all handle things differently, and just because it’s different doesn’t mean that it’s wrong.
If you don’t take time to feel your emotions in real time and work through them, they will continue to pop up in your daily life. Maybe not right away, but at some point, you will stumble across things that make you realize you never really gave yourself time to process your feelings, grow and heal.
Burnout is a Real Issue
Working yourself into the ground will never create a positive atmosphere in your life. Nonetheless, that won’t stop some people from telling you that it will!
There are a million social media posts out there that preach that you should work hard until you reach your goals. That on its face, I absolutely agree with. However, I think we doing ourselves as well as our audiences a huge disservice if we don’t also share how important taking breaks are.
Burnout is truly another form of tossing your feelings aside like they don’t matter. Our minds and bodies give us warning signs that tell us we are tired, stressed, unhappy, or have too much on our plate. We usually reach a period of being completely exhausted when we disregard all of those warning signs for far too long.
While there are certainly some things in our lives that are out of our control and we just have to do the very best that we can, there has to be some sort of boundaries. I shared my most recent experience with burnout and feeling completely overwhelmed in a blog post last year – you can check out my post right here!
Negativity Can Serve a Positive Purpose
Toxic positivity leaves no room for any negativity in your life. It completely eradicates it because you’re supposed to press forward and not experience any of those icky emotions. However, what would you say if I told you that sometimes negativity can actually serve a positive purpose?
While we can almost always find a hint of light in any situation (and I’m certainly not trying to talk you out of holding onto that), some negative experiences are just that – negative. Some things we go through in this life are just very hard. If we continue to push those things aside, we are effectively saying those things didn’t happen or didn’t impact us. That shortchanges what we’ve been through. That’s not fair to us or anyone else who may have been impacted by that same or similar experience.
Some of the best things in my life came from the most painful experiences.
Had I not experienced that pain, I likely wouldn’t be the same person I am today. I went through stages of being angry, to just mad, to maybe a little upset, to feeling indifferent, and then to accepting those experiences for what they were and I was able to truly let them go. It’s a hard process, but so well worth it on the other side of it.
That’s a wrap on the third post in our hustle culture vs slowing down series, friends! I’d love to hear what you think about toxic positivity and if it has affected your life at some point!
P.S. I know you giggled at me using a Star Wars quote, Carrie, from Curly Crafty Mom! 🙂
I’ve definitely suffered from burnout before. Now I try to prevent it!
Jennifer
Curated by Jennifer
Good for you, Jennifer! Prevention is so key!
Your post on toxic positivity is so relatable! I’ve suffered from burn out one too many times! It’s important to address this issue and shed light on how harmful it can be. Great read!
Thank you SO much, Candice! I’m so sorry you’ve experienced burnout often, it is exhausting!
This is a good look at it! it’s definitely something I try to focus on o0nline – I like nice positive uplifting things and I try to make my blog that way – it’s just frivolous fashion after all! But it’s important to acknowledge we all have bad moments, and not everything can be perfect all the time. We can put a lot of pressure on ourselves, and toxic positivity really influences that in the worst way I think. You are right to call it out!
Thank you so very much, Mica! You always post genuinely positive content, and I am such a fan! 🙂
I’m so glad you addressed this and I know it will help many of us in the struggle. Love this series.
Aww, thank you so very much Andrea! I truly appreciate you!!
This is so real and I am glad someone is discussing it. I see people online especially, saying these positive comments that come across damaging to some people’s mental health. I don’t think it is good to say. I think just saying you feel bad sometimes is healthier because it is more honest. This post is just perfect for this. Thank you for commenting on my article I was so fuming over what happened. Hope you are having a great week so far.
https://www.bauchlefashion.com/2023/05/how-to-style-golden-goose-sneakers-this.html
Thank you SO very much Heather, that means so much! I feel like everything in this hustle culture series is a bit heavy, so I’m trying to really do my best with these posts. I agree with you, those sorts of comments are so unhealthy. I think it’s about being transparent, each of us have good and bad days, and sometimes it’s a mix of both. It’s important to share that and I think it comes across as so much more real and healthy. And you are more than welcome, I’m still so sorry for what you had to deal with, it was absolutely uncalled for and truly hope it doesn’t happen again! Wishing you a fantastic rest of your week, my friend! 🙂
What you are speaking about when it comes to experiencing tough emotions in right on my friend! We must sit in the pain before we can move forward. I am reading a book called the Artist’s Rule right now and it talks about how we need to accept the slow seasons in our life. The hustle culture tries to gets us out of resting and waiting on what we could learn. Great series of posts my friend. Your wisdom is badly needed in our culture!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
That’s such a good way to put it, my friend! Oh, I have heard of that book and would love to read it sometime too! It sounds fantastic. Thank you SO very much, it truly means the world Kathrine – I appreciate you!! <3
I think you make some really good points. And in some situations it is hard to be immediately positive about it. Sometimes you don’t see that silver lining until years afterwards. There are situations that are not positive in any way however if we can just not be bitter, that is a positive thing!
Thanks so much, Laura! That’s very true, sometimes it takes us years to see certain things. Sometimes things that are hard do work for our benefit, but we can’t really see it at that time. And yes, you’re right, sometimes just not holding a grudge is a blessing and being able to move forward.
Oh I can not stand toxic positivity, so fake. The world is tough place we need to admit that. Not saying we should wallow in negativity but living in denial is ridiculous. And you can add The stupid Law of Attraction to this list LOL.
Allie of
http://www.allienyc.com
Very true. We live in a very broken and often cruel world, and it’s all about how we can best navigate it and do our best to be our best through everything. Haha, there’s a lot of talk about the law of attraction too!!
I dislike toxic positivity.
https://www.melodyjacob.com/2023/05/how-do-you-make-your-breast-look-bigger-without-surgery.html
Same here, Melody!
I can relate to this so much! It’s hard not to work yourself to the ground when you have everyone telling you that’s the only way to reach your goals! I frequently fall into this trap, get burned out, and then am mad at myself for not setting boundaries.
Jill – Doused in Pink
Totally agree with you there! It can be so difficult not to fall into that cycle, I struggle so often with healthy boundaries. I have gotten better over the years, but it’s still something I have to remind myself of often. We suffer so much when we push ourselves too hard or into too many things at once, and it just isn’t worth it.
Omg we are all guilty of doing these things. I for instance sometimes block or don’t express my true feelings.
https://fashionradi.com/
Very good point, Radi, I certainly am! It’s one of those things where I need a continuous reminder. I can completely understand that, it can be really hard to open up sometimes, especially when you’re feeling overwhelmed with things.
You made great points. Glad you addressed it. Thanks for sharing.
Annie,
Annies Food Diary
Thank you so very much, Annie! Thanks for stopping by! 🙂
Being burn out is always happening so relax.
http://alyinwanderland.com
It’s definitely important to carve out that time to relax, Aly, you are so right!
This line says it all “ Working yourself into the ground will never create a positive atmosphere in your life.” Yes yes yes! Before I left my job I allowed soooo much and now I’m on the other side I can see the light for sure. Great post!
Thanks so much, Kristina!! 🙂 I can relate from a previous job, it’s really mind boggling when you look back at it! But it’s so hard to see it during the time itself. So thankful you got out of that job!
I agree that sometimes challenging situations do make us stronger and we def. wouldn’t appreciate things as much if they were all just handed to us. I am a busy body and I tend to not let myself ‘rest’ and I do get burned out easy. I’ve been trying to be better about it, but I still struggle with it.
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
I can totally understand that my friend, as you know! It can be really hard to find a good balance, and sometimes life throws us either a bunch of stuff at once or very little, lol! So we just do the very best that we can and find what works for us.
You’ve made some excellent points. I appreciate how you emphasized the importance of dealing with negativity when facing difficult times. It’s crucial to allow ourselves to experience these emotions in order to move forward.
Thank you so much, Crystal! It truly is so important, otherwise, those things we haven’t dealt with and truly healed from will continue to pop up in different ways down the road.
You are so wise. I do think we try to do too much and too many times it creates burnout.
Been there, done that.
But so much of our mistakes and bad things make us what we are. Life would be so boring if everything went perfectly, right? LOL
XOOX
Jodie
http://www.jtouchofstyle.com
Aww, thank you so very much Jodie! 🙂 I truly appreciate your kind words. You are absolutely correct, it really pushes us to exhaustion. Haha, it sure would be boring without those icky parts of life sometimes!
I struggled with that a couple of years ago :/ Now I don’t suffer it
I’m so sorry you struggled with toxic positivity Kinga, but so very happy for you that you overcame it!
This is such a great post, Ashley! I suffered from burnout too a while ago, as I think we all feel we need to push ourselves to achieve our goals and as you said we sometimes ignore the warning signs! I now prioritize taking breaks and make sure to plan fun things to do!
Julia x
https://www.thevelvetrunway.com/