While we as women are natural caretakers, that doesn’t mean that you don’t need to prioritize yourself.
Much of our schedule is centered around our families, and what others need from us each week. We are constantly pulled in several directions and it can be difficult to find time for ourselves.
So many people say this phrase and it’s because it’s true: you cannot pour from an empty cup, friend.
You may not run out of steam today, tomorrow, or next Wednesday – but if you continue to ignore your needs, you will eventually experience a breakdown of some sort. Give yourself some much needed YOU-time and explore a few ways that you can start to prioritize yourself.
Ask Yourself Why
Before making a decision, take a pause and ask yourself:
- Why am I making this choice?
- Do I feel pressured into something I don’t want to do?
- Am I concerned someone will be upset with me if I don’t choose a particular choice?
If you’re a people-pleaser, you’ve probably agreed to do some things that you really didn’t want to do.
If you choose to do something, no matter how big or small of a decision it may be, make sure you’re doing it because you truly want to and not because you feel like you have to.
Forcing yourself to do what others want only leads to resentment and unnecessary stress, which causes not only mental anguish, but can turn physical as well.
Assess Your Daily Life
The key to accomplishing your goals lies in intentionality. The things you choose to do today will affect your progress in the future. As a result, it’s super important to be mindful of where you’re putting your energy each and every day.
Take a close look at your daily schedule. You want to make sure you’re including time for things that make you happy, and things that will help you to get to where you want to be.
For a more in-depth walkthrough on how to assess your daily life and create one that you love, check out my post on how to live life intentionally!
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Evaluate Stressors
Stress is an unavoidable part of life. It will happen to each of us from time to time. However, there are some stressors that we can identify that we actually have some control over. When you start to prioritize yourself, you’ll begin to make yourself an important factor in those things that you can control.
Grab a piece of paper and a pen, and jot down everything that’s on your mind right now. Not only will this brain dump help provide you a release, it will help you see clearly what’s bothering you the most.
Next, write down next to each stressor if it’s something that you can or cannot control.
What You Can Control vs. What You Cannot Control
Those things that you can control are what you want to pick apart and find ways to alleviate the stress, or at least lessen the stress. For the things on your list that you cannot control but find yourself consumed with worry over, it’s important to remember that you can’t fix the situation.
Coming from my experience, I am a fixer. I want to make other people’s problems vanish. While in theory that doesn’t sound so bad, it truly is if you’re allowing it to disrupt your life.
For example, going back to the list above – if you’re worried about your parents’ financial problems. You have to remember that they are just that – your parents’ – financial problems.
They are not your problems. I realize how difficult it is to dissociate yourself because they are your parents and you love them, and you want to fix it.
While every situation is unique and I’m truly stating a generalization here, paying all of their bills is probably not the answer. They will likely still be in the same financial boat because of their choices, and you’ll start struggling yourself.
When you face similar circumstances, it’s important to remember that prioritizing yourself is not selfish. It’s a necessity!
I hope you’ve enjoyed learning a few ways that you can prioritize yourself. There is only one of you and you are so special – it’s time to make yourself a priority in your life and daily schedule. Begin taking those steps to become the best version of yourself.
I want to encourage you to take the leap of faith to start on your dreams today – this exact date, next year, could be totally different for you.
You hold the very key to making that door open, and I believe in you, friend. You’ve got this!
Let’s Chat!
What are some of the ways that you prioritize yourself?
Can you see yourself scheduling in time just for you this week?
What’s holding you back from prioritizing/investing in yourself?
This is so difficult. I can often pin point the moment I make a decision that is clearly not taking me in consideration to make someone else happy.
It’s a daily struggle giving myself space to take care of me.
Thanks for sharing!
I agree, it is tough. As a people-pleaser, I feel like it’s a constant struggle. It’s so well worth working on though and trying to make yourself realize that your feelings are valid and that it’s necessary (not selfish) to make yourself a priority in decisions. It sounds sort of funny, but we believe what we tell ourselves – so if we keep reminding ourselves that we are a priority, we eventually get to the point where that comes as sort of a first-nature, instead of focusing on what you feel like you have to do for others’ sake.
This is so important! I sometimes struggle with it but I do try my best.
Jennifer
Curated by Jennifer
That’s what matters, Jennifer! 🙂 I think no matter how much we work on our mindset and prioritizing ourselves, there is still a struggle to keep things balanced sometimes.
Your posts are always so deep and I find inspiration in them. I agree with everything that you wrote and today I need to read your words. Thank you for sharing.
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Your sweet comment made my entire day, friend! Thank you SO much for always being such a loyal reader, and I am so happy this post resonated with you. 🧡
This post is such a great reminder. Thanks so much.
https://missymayification.co.uk
Thanks so much for reading, Missy! 🙂
This is something I have had a problem since I remember… Not making myself a priority has a HUGE bad impact on my life.
PLEASE! Always love yourself first!
You are so right, Kori! By choosing ourselves first, we are actually able to give so much more as a whole to ourselves and even to others. I’m so sorry you’ve struggled with this for so long, but I hope that you’re on a great path to prioritizing yourself and taking good care of YOU! 🙂
Self care is very important. Take one step after another and don’t feel the urge to say yes to everything.
xx Simone
Little Glittery Box
Such great advice, Simone! We sometimes get caught up in overwhelm, but it truly is about just putting one foot in front of the other. 🙂
Yes to a brain dump! This really helps you figure out what is important. Intentionality is so important. Great post Ashley!
https://www.kathrineeldridge.com
Same here, friend! It’s amazing how relieving it is just to get it all out on paper. Thank you so much! 🙂
These are all great ideas. I love the stressors list and figuring out which you can control. I think just getting it out on paper helps a lot, too.
Carrie
curlycraftymom.com
Thank you so much, Carrie! 🙂 I’m so happy you loved the stressors list. I’ve found it super helpful to just get everything out on paper and then analyze whether or not I can control it. Many times, I’m stressing about things that I’m not actually in control over.
I always love your tips! They are so useful!
And it’s so important to relativize things and see what you can manage and what’s actually not on your hands to change.
xx
Eli | Curly Style
This made my day, Eli! You are always so kind and I truly appreciate you! 🙂
This is such a lovely post. It’s so, so important to check in with ourselves and make ourselves a priority!
Chloe X https://www.chloepryce.com/
Thank you so much, Chloe! You are spot on! 🙂
Very interesting! Self care is very important, thanks for sharing.
Happy Monday.
Infinitely Posh
It truly is, Abdel! Thank you so much for reading, friend! 🙂
Yes! Asking yourself the “Why” is so key!! I definitely do that and it helps me realize who I am actually doing this for.
http://www.rdsobsessions.com
That’s wonderful, Rach!! 🙂
Oh yes! Very well said 🙂
Federica
http://www.federicadinardo.com
Thank you, Federica! 🙂
This is so important! I struggle sometimes with it. Thanks for sharing!
xx- Nina
http://www.stylingwithnina.com/2020/09/last-summer-look-summer-recap.html
I’m wishing you the absolute best, Nina! I think each of us struggle with it from time to time, but I hope for the most part, you are choosing you and making yourself a priority. 🙂 Thanks so much for reading!
These are great tips and we can’t forget prioritize ourself.
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Thank you so much, friend! 🙂
I love this! I am such a big fan of asking myself WHY in different circumstances. Not only does it help me make sure my actions are aligned with my goals, but I can often get a better sense of clarity when I do it as well.
Ashlee | https://www.alignedwithash.com/
I’m so happy you loved it, Ashlee! 🙂 That’s wonderful!!
Such a feel good post Love it Thanks for all the tips here Cris
http://www.photosbycris.com.au/?p=8672
Aww, thank you so much, Cristiane! I appreciate your kind words, so happy you loved it! 🙂
I am starting to ask myself “Why…” more and its been really helpful. Stress like you said is truly part of life and we need to equip ourselves with tools we can use to cope. Self care is so important. Thank you for the great post Ashley.
Xx
Nikki
http://www.nikkilivinglife.com/blog
Thank you so much, Nikki! I’m so happy you enjoyed the post and love that you started asking yourself ‘why,’ that is so awesome! Very happy to hear that it’s been helping you, friend. 🙂
this post is such a lovely reminder
thank you for sharing dear!
Aww, thank you so much for reading, friend! 🙂
These are so useful tips! I love the part what you can and can’t control x
Laura
https://www.beautywithlala.com/
Thank you so much, Laura! So happy you found my tips helpful! 🙂